What is in a Name?

Recently in our COMM 211 class, we watched a video about why gender pronouns matter. One of the main points from the video is that "In using correct pronouns we are saying yes, you are right in your identity." This has been very important to me personally in recent years because I became good friends with a few people at my community college who identify as non-binary. I met them all as them/their, but accidentally used the wrong pronouns occasionally and felt terrible. One day, I sat down with two of them and explained my frustration with myself because I cared about them and wanted to respect them. Their response? They both said it was alright because they knew I was trying and that was what was important to them.

 

(@samsmith)"Today is a good day so here goes. I’ve decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM <3 after a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out..." Twitter, 10:38 AM · Sep 13, 2019. 

Sam Smith recently shared with the public of his preferred pronouns, they/them, along with identifying as non-binary. In a recent interview, Sam shared that "I'm going to be misgendered till the day I die." Often when people come out as non-binary or transgender, those who knew them as one identity have to consciously make the effort remembering their pronouns and/or name change. My sister grew up as Maddie but within the past two years, she asked us to call her by her birth name, Madalyn. Occasionally, I still call her Maddie and I know she is frustrated. When we are accidentally called the wrong name, we usually don’t like it also. Imagine feeling that frustration with a predominant label in your life that does not represent you at all and is dead in a way (similar to a dead name). Most of the time, people do not intentionally misgender pronouns and harm is not meant. But respecting someone’s wish to use their correct pronouns shows someone how much you care about them and that they shouldn’t feel like an “other.” All Sam Smith asks of fans is to “please please try.”

Course Concept Citation:  Ryan, Joelle Ruby. 2016. "From Transgender to Trans*: The Ongoing Struggle for the Inclusion, Acceptance, and Celebration of Identities Beyond the Binary." In Introducing the New Sexuality Studies, edited by Nancy L. Fisher and Steven Seidman. New York: Taylor and Francis. Copyright ©  2016.